Understanding the Four Loves in the New Testament

Introduction Love is one of the most profound themes in the Bible. From Genesis to Revelation, we see the love of God displayed in different ways—toward humanity, among believers, and within families. However, the Greek language, in which the New Testament was written, provides a richer and more nuanced understanding of love than the English language does. In the New Testament, love is not just a singular concept but is categorized into four distinct types: Agápē, Philia, Storgē, and Éros. Each of these loves serves a unique role in our relationships with God, our families, our friends, and our spouses. Today, let us explore these four loves deeply, understanding their significance and how we, as followers of Christ, can embody them in our daily lives.

1. Agápē – The Unconditional, Divine Love Agápē love is the highest form of love, the love that originates from God Himself. This is the love that is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. It is not based on emotions or circumstances but is a deliberate act of the will. This is the love that Jesus Christ demonstrated when He laid down His life for us on the cross.

In John 3:16, we read, “For God so loved (agápē) the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” This verse captures the essence of Agápē love—God’s love is not dependent on our actions or worthiness. He loves us because of who He is, not because of what we have done.

Paul expounds on this love in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This love is extended to all people, including those who do not deserve it. It is a love that forgives, redeems, and transforms.

As believers, we are called to exhibit Agápē love in our lives. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Paul describes the characteristics of Agápē love—it is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, and keeps no record of wrongs. This is the love that we should show to our neighbors, our enemies, and the broken world around us.

2. Philia – The Love of Friendship and Brotherhood Philia love is the love of deep friendship and companionship. This is the love that is shared between close friends and is characterized by mutual respect, loyalty, and a deep bond of affection.

In John 15:13, Jesus says, “Greater love (philia) has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” This passage highlights the depth of true friendship—one that is willing to sacrifice for the sake of another. Jesus exemplified this love by not only calling His disciples friends but also ultimately laying down His life for them—and for us.

The relationship between David and Jonathan in the Old Testament (1 Samuel 18:1-4) is an example of Philia love. Jonathan loved David as his own soul, and their bond was one of deep mutual trust and loyalty.

As believers, we are called to love one another with this kind of brotherly love. Romans 12:10 urges us to “Be devoted to one another in love (philia). Honor one another above yourselves.” The church should be a place where Philia love flourishes—a place where believers support, encourage, and uplift each other in the faith.

3. Storgē – The Natural, Familial Love Storgē is the love of family—the natural affection shared between parents and children, siblings, and close relatives. While this specific word is not frequently used in the New Testament, the concept is evident in various passages.

One of the strongest examples of Storgē love is found in Romans 12:10, where Paul exhorts believers to “be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love.” This natural affection extends beyond blood relations to include the family of faith. As the body of Christ, we are to treat each other with the same love and care that a family would.

Paul warns against the absence of this love in 2 Timothy 3:1-3, where he describes the last days as a time when people will be “without natural affection” (astorgos). This highlights the importance of Storgē love in holding families and societies together. A lack of this love leads to broken homes, strained relationships, and societal decay.

Parents are called to nurture their children in love, as seen in Ephesians 6:4, where fathers are instructed to bring up their children “in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Husbands and wives are also called to love and respect each other, building a home founded on God’s principles.

4. Éros – The Romantic and Marital Love Éros is the love of romance and passion, often associated with the love between a husband and wife. While the term Éros itself is not explicitly used in the New Testament, the concept is present, especially in the way Scripture describes marital relationships.

In Ephesians 5:25, Paul instructs husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” This is not just romantic love but sacrificial love. A husband’s love for his wife should reflect Christ’s love for the church—selfless, protective, and enduring.

The Song of Solomon in the Old Testament provides a beautiful depiction of romantic love within the boundaries of marriage. God designed this kind of love to be expressed within the sacred covenant of marriage, where both husband and wife cherish and honor each other.

However, the world has distorted Éros love, reducing it to mere physical attraction and selfish desires. Biblical love is not just about feelings—it is about commitment, sacrifice, and faithfulness. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” As believers, we must uphold the sanctity of marriage and approach romantic love with the reverence that God intended.

Conclusion: Living Out the Four Loves Understanding these four types of love gives us a clearer picture of how we are to love God and others. Agápē calls us to love sacrificially and unconditionally. Philia reminds us to value and cherish friendships. Storgē teaches us the importance of family bonds and natural affection. Éros, when honored within God’s design, strengthens the covenant of marriage.

Jesus Christ embodies all these forms of love. He loves us unconditionally (Agápē), calls us His friends (Philia), welcomes us into the family of God (Storgē), and presents Himself as the bridegroom awaiting His church (Éros).

As we grow in our walk with Christ, let us strive to reflect these loves in our daily lives. Let us love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Let us love our neighbors as ourselves. And let us live in the fullness of God’s love, for “God is love” (1 John 4:8).

Amen.